My son sat next to the world's worst tourist on a flight from Sydney to Denpasar, Indonesia. His seatmate nursed a bottle of sizzurp -- a potent mix of codeine and Sprite -- and the man twitched uncontrollably for the seven-hour flight to Bali. When the intoxicated tourist disembarked on the conservative Hindu island, he collapsed on the terminal floor. The last time I saw him, customs officials were trying in vain to revive him from an opiate-induced stupor.

Annette Johnson thinks the travel industry is taking self-service too far. She's watched airlines drop their phone support and add fees for airport check-ins that use a human agent. Some air carriers are even tearing out their kiosks and prodding passengers into using a phone app at the airport. "It feels like you're being punished if you need a little help," says Johnson, a travel advisor.

Dennis Shirshikov recalls a recent American Airlines flight from Mexico City to New York with his wife and three young children. As they boarded, a crew member ordered him to gate-check their stroller. Shirshikov, who runs a real estate investment firm in New York, says he balked because the stroller was regulation-size and he needed it to transport his kids. "They were very confrontational," he says. When he arrived at JFK, the stroller was gone. He finally found it in the lost and found.

The Lafayette, which is in the middle of a top-to-bottom renovation, is restoring the bar just in time for the release of a “Top Gun” sequel in May. Hissin says the timing is right to bring ’80s-loving tourists back to the Lafayette. He’s not the only hotel general manager wondering how to get travelers back. “Hotels are getting creative,” says Jennifer Dohm, a spokesperson for Hotels.com. As resorts look to the summer travel season, they are adding new room experiences, introducing promotional rates and waiving fees.

When it comes to air travel, hotel stays and car rentals, Americans are prioritizing warm, tropical and entertainment-focused destinations, such as Hawaii, Las Vegas, Mexico and Orlando. Florida, in particular, is a traveler favorite right now. The Sunshine State dominates the top-10 destinations across all three categories with at least four cities on each list.

Even though it comes with its own constraints and challenges, road trips and short flights within the U.S. are how many people will ease into traveling again. The emphasis for airlines and accommodation providers will be on cleanliness and social distancing. In many cases, these enhanced health and safety measures will stick around as a way to prevent future outbreaks and bolster consumer confidence.

So where are people going? Michael Heflin, president of Andrew Harper Travel, says his customers are defining “remote” differently. It’s not that they want to leave civilization behind. Quite the contrary, they want to take a little civilization with them. “Travelers are discovering the beauty of remote spots that are perfect for social distancing,” he says. “And many of them are in the continental United States. Remote doesn’t necessarily equal roughing it, though.”

Jacqueline Lambert and her husband were just about to wrap up a vacation in Italy when the borders locked down. They decided to stay, renting an apartment in the Aosta Valley in Northern Italy. "We're going to enjoy the weather and beautiful scenery, which we have all to ourselves," says Lambert, a guide book author. Others are changing their itineraries before they leave. That's what happened to me last week. I had planned to spend a month in Italy, with stops in Bologna, Venice, Rome and Südtirol. Then the entire country turned into a red zone. 

Frequent travelers expect traffic jams and long lines. But holiday travel brings out the novices, says Jacqueline Whitmore, a former flight attendant and director of the Protocol School of Palm Beach. "They don't know what to expect. They get very frustrated, very quickly," she says. Whitmore has seen it herself. She worked on flights where inconsiderate newbies brought strollers the size of a Mercedes and then ordered a flight attendant to stow them.

Why are travelers so loud? Yes, there's the joy of discovery. You can't help but gasp the first time you stand at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon and stare into the abyss. Or when you catch a glimpse of the Alps, the Egyptian pyramids, the Taj Mahal. But there's more going on here. It feels almost as if everyone's hearing aid has a low battery, and they're yelling at each other. It's a uniquely touristy behavior, for which there's no rational explanation.