Trapped in my house in 2020 during the pandemic with everyone else, a reality so shocking I felt like I was forced to feel alone, yet living with family -- this feeling still lingered. I would sit lifeless in my room as my mind rambled into traffic, feeling desperate to have something else other than to wallow in my own thoughts. I started to think of ways I can make being alone easier and more enjoyable. 

One of my oldest friends, divorced and living alone, explained to me that one reason I don’t see my friends as much is because I’m married, which satisfies my social obligations. In this friend’s case, he says it’s easy for him to stay home by himself and become morose and perhaps even morbid to the extent that he feels compelled, even against his own conflicting desire, that he’d rather not be bothered to leave the house, even if it doesn’t involve being with somebody else.

I remarked to my wife that this woman had guts to sit by herself at a fashionable establishment, especially around New Year’s Eve when society says you’re supposed to be partying with friends and family. I know when I was single, I avoided eating out alone unless it was at a hamburger joint or diner and I could sit at the counter. At nicer places, I would feel too self-conscious and fear the stigma that I must be worthy of pity.