What I envisioned in my future retirement years was moving south to an efficiency apartment in Miami Beach, where I figured there’d be lots of other old single guys like me enjoying the sunshine and beach. I didn’t consider myself much of a catch because I was cynical about love, and especially since I dressed so poorly in sweatshirts and ragged jeans--but ironically, what I wore did lead to romance. I credit my 20-year-old winter overcoat for that.
Aurora ended up getting diagnosed for ADHD and starting seeing a therapist. This changed her perspective dramatically. She started recognizing when her feelings or actions were symptoms of depression or ADHD, helping her to stop negative thought spirals and taking healthier actions to feel better. As a result, she became better at communicating with her boyfriend in ways that didn’t project. “[Getting diagnosed and being in therapy] made it a lot easier to recognize when I didn’t talk. It made it easier to be able to tell my boyfriend, ‘I love you but I’m not feeling that well today,’ in order to have the space to process and overcome those feelings by myself,” said Aurora.
A study by Match.com puts the yearly cost of dating at about $1,596, which averages out to a nice and affordable $30 date each week. Cut down on your afternoon iced caramel macchiato and you’re all set to get your dating groove going. But that’s pocket change compared to what singles are spending in large cities to go on dates. According to statistics released by Deutsche Bank, a cheap date in New York City will cost your wallet the criminal amount of almost $135 for the both of you.
The study also highlighted the issue of immigrant parents who resisted interracial or religious relationships. “It’s not ok for me to marry outside of my religion—I have to marry a Muslim. My parents would prefer someone Arabic because the culture is the same,” a Yemeni female participant said. In conversations and a survey with young San Gabriel Valley residents with immigrant parents, I also heard many youth say that they were up against stiff parental restrictions on dating, uncomfortable conversations, and resistance to marrying outside of their racial or ethnic group.
A native of Santa Monica, Calif., Janka’s parents divorced when he was young. Somewhat of a wallflower in high school, Janka was raised primarily by his mother and had more success with swimming, soccer and studying than he did with the opposite sex. That’s all in the past. Now Janka is a recognizable face in the Pick-Up Artist community, a collection of alpha-male teachers, mentors and advisers all helping less confident men to answer one question: How can I have more sex with women?
Flirting—the penultimate romance language—is an endangered concept in 21st-century America. Gone are the face-to-face conversations, where exposure to body language and tone of voice permit our pheromones to chemically determine compatibility. “People just aren’t willing to engage in public. It’s so difficult to get someone to make eye contact…” claims Jane, a 20-something New Yorker.
Le Pupille is set in an Italian orphanage and follows a group of girls rebelling against nuns. Backed by Disney and Alfonso Cuarón, the film is directed by celebrated Italian director Alice Rohrwacher. The girls are effortlessly adorable and funny, especially Melissa Falascon, who portrays the protagonist, Serafina. Admittedly, of the five films nominated, Le Pupille was easily my least favorite of the group.
We were in sync, gliding across the soft brown dirt as one. We beat 50 horses, won second best, and earned a national championship title. I had hot, streaming tears down my face as the numbers “3-4-5” blared out of the auditorium speakers, giving me a national title and putting a blanket of tricolored roses: yellow, red, and white across Raya’s shoulders. They put the 6-ft long blue ribbons on her bridle and my jacket.
