Calling Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Space Lasers

Eric Green


I was driving to McDonald’s the other day, returning from a morning doctor’s appointment, when for some reason, a 1945 song started playing in my head called “Walkin’ My Baby Back Home,” which was featured in a musical comedy from 1953 under the same title.


I had heard it some time ago on the old TV series Columbo, and the song kept circling and playing in repeat in my brain, a phenomenon called earworm.



Strangely, when I sat down with my Big Breakfast, Muzak overhead started playing that same song, causing me to almost choke on my fluffy biscuit. It seemed spooky. It wasn’t a song I had ever heard before on Muzak, or anywhere else recently. To hear it in McDonald’s had to be a total coincidence. Right?


I don’t believe in ESP, the occult, or the paranormal. I don’t go to psychics, palm readers, mediums, telepaths, or mentalists. But certainly, I considered it strange that “Walkin’ My Baby” would accompany my Big Breakfast, which left me thinking how some people would insist what I heard didn’t happen by chance.


For instance, I have a friend who’s into astrology -- to the point of obsession. I can hear him claiming that because my astrological sign is Pisces, it means I am intuitive, spiritual, and imaginative. My Pisces sensitivity must have intuitively known Muzak would be playing that song, this friend would obviously say, even if I consider the concept loony tunes.



People will believe what they want to believe, which is what a Doonesbury cartoon had to say about the issue. Gary Trudeau’s cartoon wisely pointed out that millions of Americans believe in ghosts, alien abductions, and satanic cannibals. None of these beliefs is supported by facts or evidence, explained Trudeau, but myths serve an emotional purpose helping people “make sense of a world that frightens them. People crave certainty and hope,” Trudeau wrote.


I mention all this because of the many Americans who believe in the fairy tales that Donald Trump and his minions keep espousing: that the 2020 presidential election was stolen, the judicial system is corrupt and out to put him in jail, and that you can’t believe anything the major “fake news” media reports.


Of course, one wonders how many people are deluded into believing Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s bizarre speculation that the real culprit behind the November 2018 wildfires in California may have been a Jewish laser beam from space. Or her other fictions that the 9/11 attacks were at least partly conducted by the federal government; Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was replaced by a body double before her death in 2020; or that former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s “Gazpacho” police were spying on members of Congress. At least, Greene’s police were not the Gestapo in Nazi Germany, but a nutritious soup that we can devour in spoonfuls.



Greene is not the only politician who seems to have gone off the deep end, whether they actually fall for such crazy ideas or are just doing so for political gain. Take for instance, New York Congresswoman Elise Stefanik, the high priestess of abandoning rational thought to serve her lord and master, the former president, perhaps in hopes that he will choose her for his vice-presidential candidate in the 2024 race to the White House.


Stefanik, once considered a moderate Republican known for her trust in facts and belief in science and wanting to build a more diverse party, has become an obsequious hard-right MAGA devotee parroting Trump’s claim that the jailed Jan. 6, 2021 rioters are “hostages” and political prisoners. The federal government, she said, is being “weaponized” against Trump, conservatives, and Catholics. She repeats the conspiracy theory that the 2020 presidential election should not have been certified because it was fraught with voter fraud.



As one political observer astutely pointed out, “It’s easier to con someone than it is to prove to someone that they’ve been conned.”


Even more far-out than Stefanik is Colorado State Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt, who as a former Navy chaplain. once tried to perform long-distance exorcism on President Obama as part of what he said was getting rid of the “demon of tyranny who is using the White House occupant.”


Or how about Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert who said that if an oil pipeline in Alaska were shut down, it would diminish the caribou population because "when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline."



Going back to my supposed extrasensory perception incident at McDonald’s, that same night my wife called me from her work to ask if perhaps I could walk her home from the Metrorail stop about a half mile away because it was dark outside and she would feel safer having companionship. She wouldn’t like me calling her baby, but I might call this “Walkin’ My Baby Back Home.” Another coincidence to hearing it played on Muzak, I say.


But try telling that to Rep. Greene, who I can imagine would fantasize that it all had something to do with Jewish space lasers. If she’s right, I’ll repeat the catchphrase from that old TV series, Star Trek: “Beam me up, Scotty.”


Author Bio:

Eric Green, a Highbrow Magazine contributor, is a former newspaper reporter, U.S. congressional press aide, English-as-a-second-language teacher, and now a freelance writer in the Washington D.C. area. His articles have appeared in various newspapers and websites, including the Washington Post and Baltimore Sun.


For Highbrow Magazine


Photo Credits:; Gage Skidmore (Wikipedia Commons); DonkeyHote (Flickr, Creative Commons); DonkeyHote (Flickr, Creative Commons); Donn Bruns (Wikipedia Commons)


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